Gender Fuck Thursday: Leave Your Hat On

Hey, remember how much you all loved that picture of Hayley Atwell wearing a hat? You know the one, with the suspenders. And the tongue. Fine, OK, and the tank top. Yep, now you remember. Well, Hayley’s jaunty little chapeau got me thinking. Women should wear more hats. No, not like those crazy Kentucky Derby battleship headpieces or those even crazier royal wedding ornamental antler displays. I mean more traditional hats. Your fedoras. Your newsboy caps. Heck, even your top hats. If I wanted to wear a peacock on my head, I’d wear a peacock. But when I want to wear a hat, I wear a fucking hat. Like Queen B above, and these fine ladies below.

Evangeline LillyBeing stuck on that island all those years really robbed us of valuable time we could have been watching Evangeline wearing a tux and fedora.



Jennifer Jason LeighRemember back in the 90s when every movie either starred Jennifer Jason Leigh or Bridget Fonda, sometimes both?



Keeley HawesOh, Kitty, Kitty. You terrible, terrible heartbreaker.



Maria BelloIn the new “Prime Suspect” remake, the big controversy so far isn’t that she’s filling in for the formidable Helen Mirren – it’s that she wears that fedora.



Joan as Police WomanObligatory joke about how if she was a real police woman, I’d let her cuff me any day.



Audrey TautouIf Coco Chanel really made suits like this for women, I would so buy one. OK, not really. I’m a writer and couldn’t afford one. But I’d covet one, that’s for sure.



JD SamsonWho knows, maybe the garrison cap will make a comeback after.



Piper PeraboThey should make her wear more hats on “Covert Affairs.” Yep, definitely more hats.



Marlene Dietrich



Women, men, animals, minerals – take note. Now that’s how you wear a fucking hat.

Tank Top Tuesday: Gay it Forward

You know, I’m supposed to notice Stephanie March’s big yellow bandana. Because, you know, it’s yellow. But you know what I notice, well, besides the tank top? Her watch. That’s a big gay watch. Now, of course, I know Stephanie isn’t gay. She’s got Bobby freaking Flay cooking for her at home. But, she does play gay convincingly (as the brilliant plastics engineer slash lesbian on “30 Rock”). And, of course, gives good subtext with one Det. Olivia Benson. So, wait, where was I going with this? Oh right, those who play gay for our pleasure. Sometimes, they also wear pretty gay things for our pleasure, too. Like watches. And, of course, my personal favorite – tank tops.

Elizabeth MitchellElizabeth has earned the honorary hot plate for playing gay not once, not twice but three times. If she does a fourth, I say we have it bronzed.



Penelope CruzPenelope has only done it twice for us – but it was Charlize Theron and Scarlett Johansson, respectively. So, you know, good job.



Charlize TheronFine, so also played a lesbian serial killer. But, you know, nobody’s perfect.



Shay MitchellPoor dear, “A” made Emily a juicer. Though on the plus side, think of the muscle definition.



Patricia ClarksonSometimes I still expect her to talk with a German slur, like Greta from “High Art.”



Zoe SaldanaShe got to make out with Mila Kunis before it was Oscar-worthy to make out with Mila Kunis.



Piper PeraboAlso a twofer, but let’s be honest, we’ll love her forever just for kissing Lena.



Jenny ShimizuShe doesn’t have to play. She just is. My, is she ever.

Thanks for gaying it forward, ladies. And, yes, the tank tops.



EDIT: Looks like Piper and Penelope get their honorary hot plates as well for making the third time the charm. We anxiously await their fourth.

Tank Top Tuesday: Summer TV Edition

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