Dragon lady

OK, I’m in. Sure, I have my reservations. Sure, I loved the original. Sure, I really, really loved Noomi Rapace. But I am in for the new American remake. Is it necessary? Probably not. Reading subtitled is not that hard. Still the new trailer has made me hopeful. This thing could be good. This thing could be quite good. But, you know, don’t take my word for it. Judge for yourself.

So first things first, Rooney Mara is no Noomi Rapace. Clearly. But, Rooney could still be a fairly kick-ass Lisbeth Salander. Different, yes. But perhaps somewhat more like what author Stieg Larsson envisioned in his original description of her as a grown-up Pippi Longstocking who is “a pale, anorexic young woman who had hair as short as a fuse, and a pierced nose and eyebrows…On those occasions when she had been wearing a tank top, a dragon tattoo can be seen on her left shoulder blade.”

Also David Fincher is undeniably a talented director and his taut, stylish camera work is already evident in the trailer. I mean, if he can make a bunch of nerds staring at computer screens seem suspenseful then think what he can do with a genuinely suspenseful story like this. It’s almost…frightening.

Though one of my continued concerns is that this movie looks a little like the Mikael Blomkvist story instead of the Lisbeth Salander show. Some of this is due to the casting. Daniel Craig is James Bond, and Rooney Mara is that girl who dumped the guy who invented Facebook. So while Craig is the marquee name, hopefully Rooney will still be the main attraction when all things are said and done.

Though one of the things I’m obviously happy to see is that Lisbeth’s bisexuality is still intact. Though, there was never much doubt that would make it into the new film. (SPOILER ALERT: Skip the rest of this paragraph if you haven’t read the book or seen the film.) What I like about the trailer is that while Lisbeth’s relationship with Miriam is revealed, her relationship with Blomkvist is barely hinted at. Part of that is probably because it’s the natural progression with the story and a pretty big thing to give away in a preview. But it’s also somewhat encouraging because the easiest thing marketers can do to make a female character who has an eye for the ladies more appealing to male viewers is to show she also has an eye for the fellas.

Though, the poster more than makes up for the trailer’s restraint. And it also points to more of my Blomkvist Show v. Salander Show worries. She is naked, he is clothed. She looks small, he looks imposing. Even the way he is holding her is equal parts dominating and protective. Lisbeth Salander doesn’t need a protector – even if he is 007.

But the poster is the poster, the film is the film. And I think for all my love of the original, I’m still going to give this American version a chance. And if it also turns out to be good, well then there will be two movies about a fierce, ferociously independent heroine that are worth watching. And that’s not a bad thing, not a bad thing at all.

Muppet Monday

Why are there so many songs about rainbows? Because rainbows are fucking awesome, that’s why. Now, when I first heard they were making a new Muppet movie, I was skeptical. Messing with beloved childhood memories is always a tricky proposition. But then I heard that Jason Segel was behind the project and I was really, really skeptical. Keep in mind, this news came out the same year as “Saving Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” So pretty much I knew him as that guy whose junk I saw way too much of. But, mostly, it was the beloved childhood memory thing. I cried the day Jim Henson died, I really did.

So then, as the movie developed, I was anxious to see what direction they’d go. The first trailer was perfectly charming. And now, well, their new parody trailer “The Pig with the Froggy Tattoo” has totally won me over. You had me at “Wocka. Wocka,” new Muppet movie.

The new Muppet movie also comes with a brand new Muppet album, which makes sense because music was such a big part of the original movies and show. NPR streamed the whole album last month. (Sadly, the stream is now over.) But, you can hear the very new, very different Muppet theme song by OK GO. When I first heard it, I hated it. Then it grew on me and I kind of dug it. Then I watched the video and I was a little “Nope, hipster nonsense.”

So, judge for yourself. I actually don’t mind the crunky synth wheeze of the new song. But for some reason when paired with the video it’s just not working for me anymore. I think it’s because the dude with the cap and beard looks more Muppety than the actual Muppets.

And, well, it is hard to improve upon something as flat-out sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetationalas this.

OK, new Muppet movie. I’m going to give you a try. Just don’t go breaking my heart. I already have “The Rainbow Connection” to do that. Talk amongst yourselves, kittens. I’ll just be sitting on this log, reliving my childhood until the new movie comes out.

Over the girl

Last week we spoke about that elusive good lesbian movie, so this week I thought we’d take a trip back in the way-back machine to a little year I like to call 1997. Bill Clinton was still in office. No one had ever heard of Monica Lewinsky. No one outside of Texas had heard of George W. Bush. The war in Iraq was a distant memory. This whole internet thing was just starting to seem awesome. And a little movie called “All Over Me” was released.



There is nothing really flashy about “All Over Me,” and that’s a good thing. It’s just the story of a teenage girl, Claude (Alison Folland), growing up in New York’s Hell’s Kitchen and trying to navigate the big city and her bigger emotions for her best friend, Ellen (Tara Subkoff). I haven’t seen it in years (note to self: order the DVD immediately), but I can still remember how real it felt the first time I watched it. Everything about it – the grit, the hunger, the devotion, the confusion – it was all so honest. And so raw. Most movies about teenagers today delight in making them precocious one-liner machines. They’re too cool for whatever school they’re stuck in, and we know it. But “All Over Me” wasn’t interested in the normal trappings of Hollywood a coming-of-age stories, or being cool. It was just interested in being real.



One scene in particular sticks with me, all these years later. When Claude is helping Ellen in the restaurant bathroom and she says to her, “Everyone knows I’m your dog.” My God, haven’t we all been there. For young women, gay and straight, the female friendships we have as teenagers are some of the most intense and most complicated of our lives. It’s a fascinating dynamic that rarely gets touched on in most movies beyond the sassy best friend character. But what fertile cinematic ground awaits for those who dig a little deeper.



I’d always hoped for more great things from the filmmakers, sisters Alex and Sylvia Sichel, would go on to do many more great things. The last major credit for them on IMDB is the Chloe Sevigny and Michelle Williams “1972” segment in “If These Walls Could Talk 2.” That, by the way, was my favorite segment from that film, one that again showcased the sisters skill at subtle, yet powerful realism. Also, damn, it was hot.



And so were scenes in “All Over Me.” Why hello, adorable young, pink-haired Leisha Hailey. Hello very much.

All that and it also stars Rickie Vasquez Wilson Cruz. Yep, definitely buying this DVD. Definitely.

It's a small world after all

So over the weekend I tried to watch “Room in Rome,” emphasis on tried. Man, that movie was a hot mess, emphasis on mess. And then I also watched “Bloomington,” which in true lesbian fashion I am still processing my feelings about. But what both movies reminded me is of the audacity of hope we have each time we watch a new lesbian movie. Maybe, just maybe, this will be The One. The good lesbian movie, at long last. We have so precious few. So I’m pleased to say there are a few lesbian films (or at the very least lesbianish ones) coming out soon that make me again hope against hope. Interestingly, they’re all foreign films. (Come on America, what happened to “We’re No. 1!”?) But who cares about borders, I’ll watch any lesbian movie from anywhere as long as it isn’t “Bar Girls.” No, seriously, never make me watch “Bar Girls” again. Let one, or with any luck all, of these movies be the bad lesbian movie antidote.

Circumstance

Wow, this movie looks beautiful. And not only beautiful, but importance as it shines a needed light of the plight of lesbians in Middle Eastern countries, in this case Iran. Also, wow, this movie looks beautiful.

Love Crime

So this isn’t so much straight-up lesbian as it is straight-up mind fuck. But there are definite lesbian undertones. Also Kristin Scott Thomas speaks French. So, you know, sold.

Kyss Mig (Kiss Me)

I’ve raved about how good this film looks before. And I’ll rave about how good it looks again. Also, have I mentioned one of my raves made the film’s official movie poster? Does this mean my ticket is free when it finally opens here?

So there you have it. A world of lesbian cinema awaits. Fingers crossed, ladies, fingers crossed.

Hungry eyes

Lesbians have a love/hate relationship with lesbian movies. We love to watch them, but we hate how bad they often are. As any nascent lesbian going through her I-must-consume-every-lesbian-movie-ever-made phase can tell you, not all lesbian movies are created equal. In fact, don’t tell the religious right this, but instead of using their so-called “ex-gay” therapies, they’d have much better results by forcing us to watch “Bar Girls” and “Claire of the Moon” on a continuous loop. They’re almost bad enough to turn even the gayest gal straight. Almost.

So this weekend, I thought I’d have a lezzer movie binge and watch one I’d never seen before. Somehow, despite my best intentions, I’d never had a chance to catch “Nina’s Heavenly Delights.” This is kind of crazy considering 1) the cast is crazy gorgeous and 2) it’s about food. Hello, gorgeous people and food consumer a good 85 percent of my waking thoughts. And it was also nice to see Shelley Conn and Laura Fraser in earlier roles, since I’ve seen both subsequently in other projects (“Mistresses” and “Lip Service,” most recently).

Was it a great film? No. Choppy plotting, uneven characterizations, contrived situations. Also, I could have done without ghost dad. I felt at any minute Whoopi Goldberg might show up and say, “Nina, you in danger, girl.” But it was cute in its own way and had so much pretty to look at in the form of Shelley and Laura that I can forgive it some of its sins. But, yeah, it’s not going on my iPhone next to “Imagine Me and You,” or anything.

What it did give us was one truly sexy moment between Shelley’s Nina and Laura’s Lisa. And I’m not talking about any of the kisses, though they were nice. They really were. But, what I thought worked best in the film was its hunger. And not just for chicken xacuti. I mean the other kind of hunger. Laura in particular does a lovely job of conveying her hunger, with her big eyes and eager face. It’s also a testament to her acting abilities that I find her entirely winsome in this film whereas I find Cat on “Lip Service” a tad irritating. But right, back to the scene.

Right, now if the whole movie had been like those 19 seconds, well, that would have been truly heavenly.

Independence Day

I can’t think of a better way to honor Independence Day than with a little Ani DiFranco and girls kissing. In fact, I feel like it’s our constitutional duty to celebrate the Fourth of July in this fashion. What did our Founding Fathers fight for anyway if not right for us to have a three-day weekend and use those three days to make videos of hot women kissing. At least, I think that’s what I remember learning in my high school history class. Maybe my textbook was different from yours. Anyway, I clearly used my time wisely this weekend and spent it making this. Please be gentle, it is my first (and possibly last) music video compilation. (Also watch it in HD, it’s prettier that way.) No one else had Ani’s “Independence Day” set to anything. So, you know, I kind of had to. Happy birthday, America. And, you know, happy Monday everyone else.